Memories.

Legend

This week, as I struggle more and more with the required confidence to play rugby; I was thinking back over games I had played in and what they had meant to me. I think it was put into perspective by the fact I was kindly invited to the Wasps season launch dinner last night by my boss, but due to my commitment to training (I gave up after 40 mins). I decided not to go. It turns out I missed a chance to be at a table shared with Phil Vickery the Wasps and England prop. The fact that this is a man who has played a key part in some of the best days I have ever had in my life. My most amazing shared rugby experiences as a fan have involved this man. No he wasn’t there when I had sex, but in rugby terms, as a tight head prop, he was ever present. To me he was an example of what I wanted to emulate. World cup finals, Lions tours, premierships. He has been there and achieved at the highest level. Yet I wonder how you put the careers of someone who has achieved so much into perspective alongside my own playing career.

Leg-end

Where he has the World Cup final of 2003 and a winner’s medal; I have a victory over Old Verulamian’s third team at home in the league. Where he has his runners up medal in the 2007 World Cup Final; I tasted bitter defeat at a merit league plate final we had received a bye to get into. Where he has Lions tours to New Zealand, South Africa and Australia; I have Breda in Holland, Prague and the infamous Leret De Mar. Now joking aside the achievements, or lack of them, are incomparable none of it makes them any less memorable.

If we take the first game I listed, this sits as a game for me that I will always remember. Not just for the game itself but the away fixture which preceded it. It was at the start of this season and I became captain of the second team and my first game was against Old Verulamian’s. I was nervous of fulfilling the new role of a captain and as the game started off the opposition scored straight away. This continued for the whole of the first half. It was an absolute rampage and as the half time whistle blew, we had already conceded half a century of points. I don’t think I have ever been so upset, I knew we were better than that and I think I told people that. I may have even thrown a few swear words into the mix too. In the second half we didn’t concede another point and even scored two trys. I think for me this was more upsetting than losing by 100 points. Yet it wasn’t that, that spikes this game in my memory; it was the actions of the opposition flanker. I picked up a loose ball and as I passed it away he hit me with a really good tackle. As I got up he shoved his hand in my face and sneered “why did you come here, you lot are shit” That stung more than any score line or any tackle. Those words rang in my ears at the final whistle and I am not afraid to admit it, the whole thing bought me to tears in the shower. My first game as captain was a heavy loss and I found myself saying “why did we go there, we were undoubtedly shit”.

When they returned to our club at the end of the season we had put together a very good team and some very good players. We were mixed with experience and exuberance and I also like to think motivation. I don’t remember any words I say before a game I try to say what I feel from the heart and hope people trust my honesty but this game is different, I related the story of what had happened at the end of that game, I told the players how it made me feel and I just said “we do not lose this game today, whatever it takes” The next 80 mins are a blur for me. I have never played in a side so motivated, so driven to do well. Every player that day put in their best performance. There were players who were always on the periphery, who played fundamentally important parts in that game and scored trys. Hell I even scored my first ever one. It wasn’t the try I remember most though it was towards the end of the game when we were camped on our line and they were pushing and pushing for the winning score when we got possession of the ball and our centre kicked it as hard as he could and the ball travelled in the air passed halfway and nearly into the opposition 22. That was the moment that broke them, that was the moment we knew it was our day. It had been a long time coming.

There were no trophies at the end of it, no bus ride through London or tea with the queen, it was just a sweet moment which is a memory I will treasure for a long, long time. It was my world cup final moment.